After the War
by MintxXx
Summary: After the war in the Fake Karakura Town, Shinji mulls about Aizen's defeat with Urahara...


I felt that Shinji's feelings were not touched on at all after Aizen's defeat, so this is my version of it and what I felt occurred. Also, this is my first ever fanfic so please do give me some comments and reviews, it will be very much appreciated!:)

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It was all over. Finally.

Shinji could sense it. Even before the messenger came, even before the rest felt it. He felt the calm in the breeze, the gentle rustling of the leaves; as if the world instead was giving a sigh of relief, aware that the menace was gone, albeit temporarily.

 _He's finally gone eh?_

Shinji did not know what he was feeling. Liberated maybe? At the same time though, he felt frustrated; in the end, it was Ichigo who saved their asses, who pulled through and gave Aizen the whipping he deserved.

 _I didn' even wound him… Shit…_

He thought that he could end what he started, destroy the demon that condemned his friends to a century of suffering, and finally, right his sin.

Hiyori's heavy breathing broke his train of thoughts. He glanced over; immediately feeling a wave of immense guilt wash over him

Shinji stood up shakily, still feeling the after-effects of the wound that Aizen inflicted on him.

"Take care of Hiyori will ya? I needa go take a piss."

Swiftly, Shinji shunpo-ed off.

The Visored knew. They know that Shinji blames himself for everything Aizen had done to them. For being disgraced, removed from the ranks of the Gotei and exiled into an unknown world. Even after they had accepted their Hollow powers and integrated themselves into the Real World, with the help of Urahara, the guilt never left Shinji's eyes. Even when he was joking and goofing around, they never missed the tinge of sadness that seemed to accompany his words. As their de facto leader, Shinji bore the burden upon himself, swearing to protect his friends no matter what.

When the conversation turned towards the past, Shinji's eyes often clouded over and his face would darken, his thoughts becoming unreadable. Even Hiyori's ear-piercing shouts of "BALDY" and "BAKA" were ineffective in breaking his train of thoughts.

All of them looked up to Shinji; he was not their leader for nothing. Despite being a mismatched bunch, Shinji brought them together, helping them to overcome their differences.

"Hirako-san."

Shinji looked up to see a familiar storeowner walking to him.

" Hmp, even after a century, ya don't change huh? I told ya that ya can call me Shinji, Kisuke."

The storeowner smiled, cocking his hat in a questioning manner.

Shinji glanced at Urahara and caught a fleeting glimpse; a glimmer of Urahara's past self: a messy blonde-haired quiet young man with a somewhat laid-back atmosphere. Despite being draped in the standard Shinigami fare with an additional captain's haori, the man hardly looked like an imposing captain figure. Well, it's not like Shinji ever looked like one too; the old man was always on his case about his long hair although Shinji suspected that it was partly because of envy too. After all, who could resist those lustrous locks?

Immediately, Shinji's face darkened. Those times… He would do anything to return to those times. He wouldn't mind enduring Hiyori's beatings and insults or the massive loads of paperwork that he had always left to Sousuke or even the sometimes frustratingly stifling environment in Soul Society. He knew the other visoreds felt the same. He could see the intense longing and desire in their eyes every time they felt a Shinigami's reiatsu and saw their distinctive garb.

It was his entire fault. If only he hadn't been so arrogant and reported his suspicions to the old man or just… anyone. If only he had paid more attention to Sousuke maybe… Maybe this entire war might not even have occurred. If only…

"Hirako-san, it's not your fault." Urahara's soft but firm voice cut through his train of thoughts. Shinji raised his head, meeting Urahara's eyes which seemed to stare straight into his soul (but technically he was already a soul, so…).

"Eh, I heard that many times ya know; but no matter what y'all say, Sousuke was my lieutenant and his troublemakin' is a fault of mine."

"Well Hirako-san, following your logic, then I too, am responsible for this war, for creating the hogyoku which was fused with Aizen-san, allowing him to create the Espada and invade Karakura Town."

Shinji gave him a wry smile. Kisuke had an uncannily good knack for getting under his skin, in both a good way and a bad way. Maybe it was because they were just so similar.

"Hmp, I guess we both are responsible then." Shinji said lightly as he squatted down on the roof that they were standing on, surveying the damage Aizen-san had wrecked upon the Fake Karakura Town. Urahara sat down beside him, taking off his trademark hat and idly twirled it around.

"We are not responsible for Aizen's action, Hirako-san." Shinji gave an indifferent shrug, continuing to stare at the devastation.

"Aizen-san is no ordinary man as you should be well aware. He had planned this through very meticulously. Even though we had almost a century to prepare and train, our efforts were in vain and we needed Kurosaki-san's help to seal Aizen." Shinji said nothing. He understood that Kisuke words, albeit blunt, was true. But…

"But even so… What if I had stopped him then? Maybe all this would not have…"

"Hirako-san, do you think that would have worked?"

Shinji mulled over it. Even though he had his eyes on Sousuke ever since he first stepped into the 5th squad barracks, Sousuke never seemed to slip up. That was why Shinji was so suspicious of Sousuke in the first place. He was just too… perfect. As someone with incredibly keen insight and observational skills, Shinji was well aware of human nature; he knew that everyone had a dark side, had certain undesirable qualities which may surface in normal, everyday situations or sometimes not at all. However, Sousuke had none. It was as if "Sousuke" was a façade, an act. And there was only one reason why his lieutenant would adopt such a façade; to hide something. That was why Shinji kept him close, appointed him as a vice captain, such that Shinji could keep a close watch on his activities and discover his true intentions.

But even after years, he could not find anything suspicious about Sousuke. Many times, he thought of giving up the investigation; however his instincts kept him going, to continue monitoring Sousuke and to be wary of him. Sousuke never let up, his actions were all calculated and planned, even the most trivial ones. Shinji only realized how deadly Sousuke was at the end, as he underwent his Hollow transformation and seeing, through the agony, Sousuke's cold eyes and smirk.

"No." It was a whisper, but it was enough. Shinji sighed. Sousuke would have bested him either ways he admitted. The parting speech that Sousuke had left him with a century ago…

" _It is the nature of all living things to find some being greater than themselves and place their trust in that being, following it blindly. In order to escape from the pressure of that trust, those beings seek a still greater entity in which to believe, and those greater beings too seek still greater, still stronger beings to follow. This is how all kings come to be, and this is how all Gods are born. Do not trust in me yet, Hirako Shinji. I will take my time to teach you the nature of the God whom you face. Then, you shall believe._ "

He had always denied it, but for a brief instant, Shinji believed him.

"Well now Hirako-san, in the end you and the others did manage to foil some part of his plan. The Visored's survival is testament to that. Aizen-san did not take into account your resolve and willpower, he thought your fates were sealed, but he was wrong."

There was little indication that Shinji had acknowledged Urahara's words, but Urahara could see his posture becoming just a bit straighter and his eyes lightened.

Shinji looked far into the horizon, zooming in on a dilapidated warehouse in the distance; his home for the past century. Living in the real world had been a real struggle and challenge but it was enjoyable too. The food, the people, the places, the music… The liveliness of the real world never failed to amaze him. The bustling energy that humans had, living life to the fullest, not needing to care about dying in the battlefield was a welcome change from the subdued atmosphere that most Shinigami tend to have, as a result of an understanding that they could lose their lives anytime in the never-ending fight against Hollows.

"Heh, a century ago, I was the one givin' yer advice and cheerin' ya up. Now ya are the one doin' it? Tch, I really have fallen haven't I?"

Urahara smiled.

"Why are we being so depressing for anyway? That bastard Sousuke is finally sealed, so let's get a drink eh?" Shinji's trademark Cheshire grin spread across his face but this time, Urahara noted, there was not a single trace of sadness in his eyes.


End file.
